Every woman longs to feel like a lady – her door to be opened when she comes out, to give her a compliment, to hold her coat. Such gestures are certainly characteristics of a true gentleman. But where are these men hiding? Can we meet them daily on the street or are they so rare like endangered species dying out quietly?
Old fashioned vs modern gentlemen
At the time of the real old-fashioned gentlemen, women were respected, appreciated and glorified. Back then, women were beginning to struggle for emancipation and equality, but still enjoyed careful gestures from the gentlemen.
Real old fashioned gentlemen weren’t carefully re-thinking their behavior towards women, but it was a natural display of respect and gentleness. They were gentlemen to such a degree that their actions came from within, without doing them on purpose.
And what is the situation today? We women don’t even expect for some stranger to just hold the door for us, and when it happens we are very surprised and moved. Nowadays, when a man holds the door or the chair he usually comments something like ‘See, I’m a gentleman’. The true gentlemen don’t brag. Each woman will notice the beautiful gesture, without having someone to put it in front of her face.
Obviously, most of today’s modern men are not gentlemen. There are men who just do ‘gentlemen stuff’ for the woman that they want to win, but in fact there is no trace of a gentleman in them. False gentlemen only exploit the desire of women to be respected and appreciated.
We’re not saying that there aren’t any gentlemen out there, there are. There are true modern gentlemen, but sadly, they are very hard to find.
What are the characteristics of the modern gentleman
1. He regularly says thanks and shows interest in others, instead of talking only about himself. He is honest and gives compliments. He spreads positive energy and knows how to make people feel special.
2. He is never late. Being late to some extent means arrogance, because in a way being late shows that his time is more important than the time to those who wait.
3. He opens the door and holds your coat, but not only to his partner and the woman who he tries to win, but to all other women. True gentleman does not discriminate women for their appearance.
4. He is modest. Bragging is a bad feature that creates resentment.
5. He is always a good partner. There is nothing more charming than a man who knows how to respect a woman.
6. He looks neat. No matter what style and dress code he has, he never wears dirty and wrinkled clothes, has messy beard or hairstyle.
7. He avoids talking on the phone or texting when he is with company.
8. He never shows off and insult others. He speaks with respect and care.
9. He knows how to respect a woman on their first date. Paying the check should not be a sign of financial strength or emphasis, but of respect and honor. That does not mean that men should always pay the check, but the first date is important. He walks her to her home and in no way he is trying to have her sexually.
10. The true gentleman never harasses a woman physically or mentally.
When you think about it, you come to the conclusion that there are not many men who have these characteristics. The worst part is that there are some men that we put in the category of ‘gentleman’, but in the end they turn out to be liars in disguise.
If you want to check whether a man is worthy to be called a gentleman, look objectively how he treats all women, not just you.
What kills the gentlemen
If we accept that gentlemanliness is a virtue, then why it dies? Is it because of the behavior of women?
One of the reasons that today’s men don’t consider it necessary to be ‘gentlemen’ is because such gesture is not accepted well in male company. Surely you have witnessed many statements and insults addressed to a man who makes something to please a woman. The macho type does not want his friends to think he is gentle or romantic, because these characteristics are accepted as weaknesses.
And have you ever thought that maybe the struggle of women for equality with men is the cause of the extinction of gentlemen? In trying to prove that we can stand shoulder to shoulder with men, we are striving to show that we can do everything by ourselves. It often happens when someone give us a hand to help us, that we reject it. Even if some men try to get into the role of gentlemen, the cold female behavior can really change their mind. Only a few men would dare to reach again to open the door, if they have done it for a woman that ‘forgot’ to say thank you.
Conclusion
Reality says that although gentlemen die quietly, we should not allow them to completely disappear. Men should know that no matter how independent we want to be, it should not be an excuse to leave us alone to open the door.
And women? We shouldn’t accept that gentlemen are slowly disappearing and we should be satisfied with what we have. The truth is that if you don’t ask for anything better, you won’t even get it.
